Hi my ducklings! I'm Jesse and I love anime, Japan, Manga, Video games, Danganronpa, And music. I play clarinet I also love Disney princesses and Homestuck

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(via carry-on-my-wayward-butt)

607307 notes | | Reblog |



thats-slightly-raven:

when i was 4 my dad asked me what i wanted to be when i grow up and i replied ‘daddy i want to be a cheesecake’ it’s been 12 fucking years and no one has let me forget it 

(via joshpeck)


outoutbriefcandle:

tigerhazard:

jamdoughnutmagician:

there is not one search term here that isn’t magical

i know ive reblogged this before at least twice but i decided to read through the entire thing this time and im in pain from how hard i am laughing please forgive me

'Im hella erect'

(via asian)


theshinymew:


That was unexpected

theshinymew:

That was unexpected

(via grandepumpkin)

126960 notes | - hatboy | Reblog |



(I work the floor at an independently-owned menswear store. The owner, my boss, spends a lot of time at the shop, and tries to keep prices as low as possible to help our city’s large homeless population get good job interview clothes. A clearly homeless man is wandering around the store. The other patrons are giving him looks.)
Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am?”
Customer: “I think you may want to call security. That… bum over there, he keeps feeling the suits and muttering to himself. I’m just sure he’s planning to steal one.”
Me: “Well, ma’am, I think that’s quite unlikely.”
Customer: “Oh, come on, you know how they are! I mean, I’d keep an eye on him even if he wasn’t homeless!”
(The homeless man in question happens to be Hispanic.)
Me: “We don’t discriminate here, ma’am.”
Customer: “Well, I’m sure the owner would want to hear about this!”
(I give in and call him over. The customer explains her concerns. As a black man, my boss isn’t happy with her racism, but agrees to talk to the homeless man.)
Owner: “Excuse me, sir, are you finding what you need?”
Homeless Man: “Well, not really. I’m hoping for something versatile in a dark or navy wool, but most of the options in my size are cut American style instead of European, which fits me a little better. Not to mention they’re all pinstriped, which I really don’t have the build for, you know?”
Owner: “I… yes, I understand. I think we may have some options over here, if you’ll follow me. How did you know all that?”
Homeless Man: “Back before I lost my job, I used to be really into this stuff. I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use to look good for a job interview later today.”
(My boss helps him find something he likes, and comes to the counter with him. The suit is priced at $87.)
Homeless Man: *digging in his pockets* “Hang on, I think I’ve got enough.”
Owner: *to me* “Take my card. I’m buying it for him.” *to the homeless man* “Here. The suit’s yours, on one condition. After your interview today, you come back and apply for a job here too. Got it?”
Homeless Man: “I… oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much.”
(Two years later, that formerly-homeless man is my manager, and has a little girl with his new wife—the owner’s sister.)

Cop: Have you been drinking?
Me: I been drankin'
Cop: Surfbort
Me: Surfbort

100% proven zodiac analyses
aries: short-tempered kind-hearted babies
taurus: stubborn knucklehead cuties who are nice to everyone
gemini: intelligent blabber-mouths w a great sense of humor
cancer: over-emotional compassionate lil cupcakes
leo: melodramatic fun-loving fucks
virgo: creative whiny pissbabies who are intellectually stimulating
libra: ditsy carefree pacifist qts
scorpio: intensely emotional secretive bad bitches
sagittarius: honest philosophical travel-agents who don't give a fuck
capricorn: organized self-driven sarcastic dickheads
aquarius: extroverted detached open-minded freaks
pisces: sensitive lazyasses who are ideological + creatively stimulating

chickensnack:

TUESDAY AGAIN NO PROBLEM

(via nintendette)


eyecandyandlust:

Why am I laughing so hard

eyecandyandlust:

Why am I laughing so hard

(via perks-of-being-chinese)


ladygallaxi:

omg

ladygallaxi:

omg

(via muppidupp)